Dealing with Negativity

Music speaks to my soul. It always has. Deep down, I have always wished that I could sing because I really love music. Unfortunately for me and for you, my voice is pretty painful to hear. But regardless, when I am feeling down, music is what I turn to. I turn my contemporary Christian Pandora station on loud (or when I’ve had a bad day, some Taylor Swift always makes me feel better), close my eyes and let the words speak to my heart. It’s moments like these that I feel closest to Jesus. It’s just me and Him. And the problems of my day seem to slowly melt away. Music is such an important part of Scripture and I think that’s why our hearts are touched by it.

 I must be honest. It was a rough weekend for me. And it came out of nowhere. I had a busy Saturday morning getting ready for another Auburn tailgate with the Smalley family. This was our first family tailgate of the season so I was really looking forward to catching up with everyone. Most everyone had wandered off to other tailgates, so I sat there catching up with my two aunts-in-law. As some of you may know, Blake’s aunt and uncle adopted two precious girls several years ago. I sat there listening to their adoption story for the first time and it brought me to tears. Adoption is the most beautiful picture of Jesus rescuing us out of darkness and into the light. And once the tears started flowing, I could not get them to stop. So there I was, in the middle of the family tailgate, with tears flowing non-stop and a really red face. Embarrassing right? It was such a frustrating day for me because I didn’t feel sad. I hadn’t cried about our story in months. I have been in such a good place. But then, it hit me out of nowhere at the absolute worst time. Can any of you relate? I felt embarrassed. I felt crazy. I felt frustrated. And most of all, I felt reminded of my brokenness. Isn’t that how Satan works? He uses the times when we are the most vulnerable to swoop in and make us feel like such failures.

 But thankfully, my sweet aunts-in-law wrapped their arms around me and spoke so much truth right to my heart. They walked with me until I could get myself together. They hugged me. They poured out so much love on me when I needed it most.

I tell you this story not for you to feel sorry for me but because I think we all need to be reminded of the kind of people that we need to surround ourselves with. Especially in the midst of such a hard struggle. I’ve been asked a lot lately about how to deal with negative people so I am going to attempt to answer that from my personal experience.

I think we all know those people that are constantly negative about everything. Or those people that somehow seem to make everything about them. These people are a poison to a group because of their attitude. And they are not the kind of people you need to be around when you are going through infertility. Love them from afar. Pray for them. Forgive them for anything they have done or said. Don’t harbor bitterness toward them. But, keep them at a healthy distance or their attitude will constantly bring you down.

 Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

 I am a firm believer that as Christian women, we are called to build each other up, carry each others’ burdens, pray for and encourage one another. So if there is someone in your life that is doing the opposite, pray about creating some healthy distance. And never stop praying for them from afar.



On my way to work today, I had this hymn on repeat because it is just the message that I needed to hear. So I will leave you with this encouragement today. Heaven is coming and these broken bodies of ours will be made new. This is your story that God is writing. It may be hard and there will be those days when the tears just won’t stop. When those days hit, turn on some music, surround yourself with encouraging friends, and praise Him for all that He has done in your life.


 Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.


This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long.


Lots of love,

Megan Smalley

Leave a comment